Honesty

Stop. 

As an artist or whatever your medium, you reach peak points in your career where you hit a wall and you just stop. No personal projects, no client work, and no clue why you feel drained and uninspired. That’s what it’s like for me. It’s a creator's mid-life crisis. 

Getting personal

These past two years have been challenging and at one point I just became dull creatively. My effort wasn’t there and I was just exhausted.  I worked at a company that I thought was a good fit for me, it was fresh and exciting until it wasn’t. I transitioned into freelance work and was presented with amazing opportunities and had a blast. I got stuck in the same cycle, and I started hating what I was creating. 

 I was already struggling with just quitting photography and videography. I knew my work could improve and I was always rushing my projects. My wake-up call came later on. I got a call from a close friend. They told me I wasn’t putting effort into my last projects I produced for him. He was right. I hated what I was producing and I wasn’t giving 100%. I was dreading when clients would call me asking if I wanted to shoot, and I was burnt out creatively and mentally.

After that phone call, I told myself I was taking a break. 

So much to learn

I’m thankful for the honesty of my friends, that phone call was the catalyst that helped me. Since I started this hiatus, there has been such a calm zen. I didn't have to worry about client work, I didn’t have to brainstorm new ideas, and thank GOD I didn’t have to edit. I found more time to learn new skills. I started learning Blender (3D Software) and I completed a project management course. I feel really good and less stressed. 

The pressures of social media didn’t bother me anymore and I realized a lot of stress and impatience stemmed from trying to stay relevant. I wasn’t competing with myself, I was competing with my pride and recognition. I wanted to be known, I wanted thousands of likes and “🔥🔥🔥” comments under my posts. I was running the influencer race and that wasn’t me. I wasn’t creating with meaning I was going through the motions and just trying to complete and compete. I became my own worst enemy and my art became a job. 

Thankful + Thoughts

I’m just thankful for the honesty of others. 

A break isn’t forever, unless you want it to be. 

What is next?

I don’t know. I am taking my time and slowly easing myself back into photo and video. I am very hard on myself when it comes to my work. I made a promise to myself that I would not rush my work. My creative timeline is constant. For now, I will continue to learn.